where i'm from.

I am from the days of big glasses, pixie haircuts, plaid dresses; the nights of bigger curlers, bright lipstick, black leggings; the quiet moments of even bigger dots over I’s, loopy L’s, a signature that has hardly changed in 50-some years but has finalized every big change in her life.

I am from post-it notes that covered bare counters, bare dresser tops, bare refrigerators. Notes that exclaimed: “Vitamins!” and “Don’t forget to dust!” and “Give Trixie two scoops!” but always ended with a heart and her signature.

I am from every swing set, monkey bar, slide. I am from every wood chip, grain of sand, ground-up tire that carried our footsteps as we spun, ran, danced with, around, into each other’s bodies. Hers always careful, protective of mine.

I am from matching watermelon shirts, matching high-waisted shorts, matching denim jackets. I am from matching eyes, curvy fingernails, smile. I am from sometimes matching hair color, sometimes matching favorite TV shows, sometimes matching one-liners, all inspired by her.

I am from apartments, town houses, houses that became home as soon as we walked in the door and set down the box. I am from the packing and unpacking and rearranging that will inspire a book one day, “Journeys with my Mother,” dedicated to and titled by her.

I am from unapologetic independence, unmatched organization, unbelievable tidiness. I am from cautious trust, bright hope, and the biggest damn love I've ever known or ever will know and could ever hope to know during this tiny, beautiful life from her.

I am from a vibrant woman who looks like a sister I never had, a disciplined woman who played the role of a father I never had, a joy-filled woman who acts as a best friend I always wanted. I am from a human who is—deep down in her mothering gut, always has been—my mother.

(This writing was inspired by a poem with the same title by George Ella Lyon. A dear friend and former professor shared this idea with me, and I couldn't help but write some of my own words about where and who I am from.)