our father & our earth.

Genesis 2: 4-7

“In the day that the Lord God made the earth and the heavens,
when no plant of the field was yet in the earth
and no herb of the field had yet sprung up—
for the Lord God had not caused it to rain upon the earth,
and there was no one to till the ground;
but a stream would rise from the earth,
and water the whole face of the ground—
then the Lord God formed man from the dust of the ground,
and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life;
and the man became a living being.”

Matthew 6: 9-13
“Pray then in this way:
Our Father in heaven,
hallowed be your name.
Your kingdom come.
Your will be done,
on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread.
And forgive us our debts,
as we also have forgiven our debtors.
And do not bring us to the time of trial,

but rescue us from the evil one.”

In case you’ve been hiding under a rock (or from any form of news, social media, or conversation with other folks) this week: the Pope is in town.

Or, rather, Pope Francis has spent the past week visiting the United States. His visit has been widely publicized and talked about. People are stirring and moving, have been stirred and moved, and will continue to stir and to be moved over Pope Francis’ words and calls to action for us. About economics and politics and war and — especially and — the environment. About these things and more, that affect — so deeply — our communities, our homes, and our land. These things that affect our earth and our relationship to it.

In his address to Congress, Pope Francis said:

“We need a conversation which includes everyone, since the environmental challenge we are undergoing, and its human roots, concern and affect us all.”

And I couldn’t help but think of the Pope’s words — many more than just these — that are connected to what’s been stirring in our own community. We are now in the midst of our Green Season: sharing our housing and land stories, reading the Pope’s encyclical on care for our common home before worship, immersing ourselves in this new liturgical season. We are diving into conversation about things that affect — so deeply — our communities, our homes, our land. Our earth. And our relationship to our earth.

And we all have one. A relationship to our earth. Pastor Melissa has been saying every Sunday — “If you live in Portland, you have a housing story.” And, in some ways, we can expand that statement to fully capture Pope Francis’ message about the environment: 

“If you live here — on this land, on this earth, on this planet — you have a land story. And a land story is an earth story. And an earth story is, at its core, an environment story. And that affects us all.”

So what are these stories? When I first read Pope Francis’ words, I thought of my own land story, which is, by default, my family’s land story. And with that land story is a caretaking story.

My grandparents have lived on the same land since my mother was a small child, settling next to my great-grandparents’ home, the same place where my grandmother grew up. Each side of their home is surrounded by fields for miles: fields of corn, wheat, and soybeans. My great-grandparents farmed that land, and my mom would spend her summers throughout high school on the tractor, prepping the dirt and the earth for new life, or next to my grandfather on the combine, reaping and threshing and winnowing the crops. 

I have memories of playing in grain bins, riding in my grandfather’s pick-up truck to visit the fields, waving at the neighbors — other farmers — as they kicked up gravel on their drives to the fields. While my grandparents don’t farm anymore, they are still deeply connected to their land. To the West of their house, my grandmother has the biggest and most bountiful flower garden you have ever seen. To the East, my grandfather spends hours each summer in the vegetable garden. He grows and cares — so carefully cares — for corn and squash and potatoes and a whole lot more.

My family has roots in this land — messy, muddy, dirt-under-the-fingernails, hundred-plus-year-old roots. They care for this land like they have cared for me, for each other, for all of our loved ones: with tenderness, persistence, and patience. 

And this care for the land — this tenderness, persistence, and patience — is what God calls us into. God accompanies us in our care for our earth. In our care for our land, our homes, and our communities.

When Jesus begins speaking in today’s Gospel — our Father in heaven — the use of the word “Father” isn’t necessarily intended to be exclusive language, only geared toward the “traditional father figure” of the house, leaving out anyone who wasn’t male. Although, trust me, when I saw today’s Gospel text, I have to admit, I got a little internally feisty. I — raised by a single mother — was supposed to focus exclusively on this phrase that seemed so rooted in historical patriarchy?

“Our Father in heaven.” 
“Our Father, who art in heaven.” 
Abba God in heaven.”

But, after spending some time with other biblical scholars, particularly John Dominic Crossen and his book The Greatest Prayer, I put some of that feistiness aside and learned more about how “Father” is actually a way to talk about God as a caretaker. According to Crossen, “Father” often referred not only to “Father and Mother,” but can be read as even more inclusive: the “householder,” or the one who cares for an entire home and entire family. So, maybe it's like my grandfather, who has been a caretaker for his land and his extended family. Or maybe it’s like my mother, who has been the head of my house, playing both Father and Mother. “Our Father” becomes the one who cares for and loves a home and its people: with tenderness, persistence, and patience.

That made my feminist-self feel a little bit better. Because praying “Our Father in heaven,” then, can be seen as a way to pray to God who is our caretaker; to pray to God who is the “head of house” for our entire world. Who cares for it, and for us, and our land: with tenderness, persistence, and patience.

And who calls us to do the same.

We are invited to be caretakers — for our own, immediate households, yes: for those who share our beds and dinner tables and four-walled structures. But we are also invited into an expansive definition of who is in our care, who is our neighbor, who is our family, who — and what — God calls us to care for. This care includes our surroundings: the plant and animal and insect life that breathes all around us, the food that nourishes us, and the land and Earth that provides for all of that.

God invites us to care for who and what God has created and birthed from this universe: our earth, our land, our people. God formed us, shaped us, breathed life into us for this purpose. We read in Genesis:

“Then the Lord God formed a man from the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living being.”

The same reading makes note that there was no one to till the ground before this. God breathed life into that living being — and continues to breathe life into us — to be the caretakers and householders. To love and care for this land as God does. 

But we cannot care for our earth in isolation. Jesus does not invite us to pray The Lord’s Prayer each day:

My Father in heaven.” 
My Father, who art in heaven.” 
My Abba God in heaven.”

Even when we pray this prayer in solitude, standing in our darkened kitchens or lying in our warm beds or walking on the earth outside — when we pray for climate justice and housing justice and distributive justice for all on this earth — we are reminded that we are not called to act in solitude. Jesus calls us into our

Our Father in heaven.” 
Our Father, who art in heaven.” 
Abba God in heaven.”

Jesus calls us out of isolation and into community, called to come together to care for our earth: its shrubs and plants, ground and dust, all of its living beings. Each other.

Pope Francis said:

“We need a conversation which includes everyone, since the environmental challenge we are undergoing, and its human roots, concern and affect us all.”

We know this, though. We have known this. Our Leaven Community is rooted in this: opening up conversations and coming together to care for each other and our shared land. God empowers us to be caretakers and householders — filled with tenderness, persistence, and patience — together.

And so, together, we pray and continue these land conversations this season — which includes everyone, since everyone has a land, an earth, and an environment story. We pray, continue the conversation, and act — for justice for all and for our earth.

fargo.

“Where are you from?”
“Where’s home for you?”
“Where did you grow up?”

A month ago, I hopped on a red-eye flight to my answer for the first time in a year. The last time I was in Fargo, I had been in Portland for a measly four months and was still very much in the honeymoon phase of my new life there (I can bike everywhere, even in December! I live within walking distance of a Whole Foods and a Target! I actually made friends!). I loved that visit to Fargo, but I was still trying to make Portland feel like home. I was eager to return to my half-built life on the West Coast; I didn’t want the honeymoon luster to wear off while I was away. I was worried that if I let myself rebuild things too much—that if I picked up right where I had left off in August—that it’d steal from what I had started to build in Portland. 

Basically, I didn’t believe I could have Portland and Fargo as home; it had to be one or the other.

So Fargo became my hometown, not my home. It became the life I once lived but wasn’t living anymore. I told people in Portland who asked the “Where are you from?” and “Where’s home for you?” questions that while I was from the Midwest, I lived in Portland now; this was home. I reasoned that home couldn’t be a place where I only visited at the holidays. Home was where the real, messy growth happened every day. Home was where I showed up and tried my best or, sometimes, gave up. It was where I walked in the rain and caught the 17 line. It was where I sent hundreds of emails and sat on committees. It was where I met friends for tea and happy hour, where I scrubbed floors and ate standing up at the kitchen counter way more often than sitting down, and where I grappled with questions of faith and vocation and injustice. It was where I felt joyful and peaceful and determined, and also where I felt lonely and confused and stuck. It was where I pictured myself living in a week, a month, a year.

I also wanted to claim Portland as home. I wanted it to be known as the city where I’d be in a week, a month, and a year. I wanted to prove that I had done it, that I had found a place and made it mine, a place that was just as special to me as the place where I had spent the first 22 years of my life. A place that wasn’t just part of the "I-just-graduated-college-and-need-a-wild-adventure-so-I'll-just-move-across-the-country" phase. A place that wasn’t just the next stop in a long line of them. Portland was more than that to me, so I crafted it into a home.

So when I hopped on that red-eye flight a month ago, I wasn’t sure what to expect from my visit. I wasn’t sure how to exist in Fargo while still being true to the home I left out West, the only home where I believed the real, messy growth could happen for me now. But as I got off the plane and slowly immersed myself back into my Fargo life, I started doing what I did in Portland. I put one foot in front of the other each day, opened my eyes each morning, and existed in the world the same way. (Or, at least mostly the same way. I had to drive a lot more because of the, you know,  -35 degree weather and wore more scarves than normal for that same reason.) But just like I did in Portland, I showed up, tried my best, and asked a lot of questions. I let the real, messy growth happen.

I was only in Fargo for two weeks, but I made it home. I allowed myself to find home there. I tossed out this silly idea that I could only have one home, and instead let myself believe that there was enough love and comfort and homeyness to go around in places that are 1500 miles apart. I did more than just show up in Fargo; I grabbed the microphone and took the stage and belted as loud as I could.

I chatted with my 8th grade boyfriend, my junior year fling, and the man I kissed before moving to Portland. In the same night. At the same bar. I was the least helpful member of a trivia team, but was still invited back to play the next week. I disrupted an entire restaurant during dinner because who can contain laughter when talking about high school love?

I sat across from college-year mentors—professors and bosses and advisors, sharing tea or hot chocolate or a meal—who are still mentors, but now, are also friends. I baked sugar cookies from the same recipe, in the same mixing bowl, and with the same kind of sprinkles that my family has used for as many years as I am old. I navigated from one end of town to the other without checking Google Maps, accurately guessed how long it would take get there, and never needed to parallel park. Ever. 

I connected with someone I’ve known from a distance, ate at restaurants that didn’t exist a year ago, and stayed in a new house with a new dog and a new family member. Fargo reminded me of the life I wasn't living full-time anymore, but that didn't mean I had to hold back from life there. Fargo was full of life. Old and new, fun and serious, good and bad. And home is where there is life.

Home is Fargo. And home is Portland. Home is wherever you find it, wherever you are or allow yourself to be in a given moment. Wherever you find yourself surrounded by—or sometimes looking for—love and people and life. Or wherever you find yourself surrounded by—or sometimes running from—challenges and questions and the hard realities of life. Sometimes, home is the place you can’t wait to return to after a vacation, and sometimes it’s the place you can’t wait to leave after a rough patch of life. Home is where you’re from, where you are, and where you’ll be.

Home is Fargo. Home is Portland. Home is where you make it yours.

where i'm from.

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I am from the days of big glasses, pixie haircuts, plaid dresses; the nights of bigger curlers, bright lipstick, black leggings; the quiet moments of even bigger dots over I’s, loopy L’s, a signature that has hardly changed in 50-some years but has finalized every big change in her life.

I am from post-it notes that covered bare counters, bare dresser tops, bare refrigerators. Notes that exclaimed: “Vitamins!” and “Don’t forget to dust!” and “Give Trixie two scoops!” but always ended with a heart and her signature.

I am from every swing set, monkey bar, slide. I am from every wood chip, grain of sand, ground-up tire that carried our footsteps as we spun, ran, danced with, around, into each other’s bodies. Hers always careful, protective of mine.

I am from matching watermelon shirts, matching high-waisted shorts, matching denim jackets. I am from matching eyes, curvy fingernails, smile. I am from sometimes matching hair color, sometimes matching favorite TV shows, sometimes matching one-liners, all inspired by her.

I am from apartments, town houses, houses that became home as soon as we walked in the door and set down the box. I am from the packing and unpacking and rearranging that will inspire a book one day, “Journeys with my Mother,” dedicated to and titled by her.

I am from unapologetic independence, unmatched organization, unbelievable tidiness. I am from cautious trust, bright hope, and the biggest damn love I've ever known or ever will know and could ever hope to know during this tiny, beautiful life from her.

I am from a vibrant woman who looks like a sister I never had, a disciplined woman who played the role of a father I never had, a joy-filled woman who acts as a best friend I always wanted. I am from a human who is—deep down in her mothering gut, always has been—my mother.

(This writing was inspired by a poem with the same title by George Ella Lyon. A dear friend and former professor shared this idea with me, and I couldn't help but write some of my own words about where and who I am from.)